30 Ways to Annoy…
by Rude and not Ginger
Summary: I know, been done loads of times, but I was bored. Feel free to request a character!
1. Snape

30 Ways to Annoy…

Snape

1. Ask to hold hands with him

2. Say "Why sir, you look absolutely ravishing this afternoon"

3. Call him Professor Hunk

4. State how lovely, beautiful and magnificent his hair is

5. Ask him to brew you a love potion

6. Jinx his hair red and gold

7. Make him spend some quality time with Harry Potter

8. Ask for his shampoo brand name

9. Ask if James did remove his trousers that time in his fifth year

10. 'Accidentally' call him James or Sirius

11. Give him a t-shirt saying 'I Love Were-wolves'

12. Ask him to dance with you

13. Ask him to a ball as your date

14. Bow deeply every time he enters/leaves a room saying "The Half-Blood Prince has arrived! All you disgusting Purebloods and Muggleborns are unworthy, bow to your Prince!" If he's leaving, the same except change 'has arrived' to 'is leaving our pitiful presence'

15. Tell him you dated Lily

16. Make him go to James and Lily's wedding

17. Remind him of Neville's Bogart

18. Complement him and when he snaps at you say "well, if that's how you take complements, I'd hate to see what happens if your insulted"

19. Ask if Albus is a satisfying lover

20. Get mad when he doesn't send you a birthday/Christmas present

21. Send him a corny valentines card

22. Tell him James Potter is (…was) a sex God

23. Tell him you have a teddy which you take to bed with you every night called Severus

24. Call him Snivellus

25. Give him a huge and call him Sevi-poo

26. Make him watch every episode of 'Care Bear's'

27. Ask him about his Dark Mark

28. Tell him Voldemort sends his love

29. Make a point of reminding him that he and Lily fell out for good in there fifth year and he called her a "filthy little Mudblood"

30. Ask if he finds Draco attractive, and if that's why he's his favourite

Hehe, 14 was my favourite.

Next time: Dumbledore!


	2. Dumbledore

30 Ways to Annoy…

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

1. Remind him his dad was locked away in Azkaban

2. Relay to him the time he and Gellert Grindewald dreamed of ruling the world "for the greater good"

3. Tell him you'll find away to take him off of the Chocolate Frog card's

4. Ask which one of the three (Albus, Aberforth or Grindewald) killed Ariana

5. Tell him Voldemort is the greatest Wizard, not him

6. Always call him old man

7. Ask if his idol is Merlin

8. Tell him a fake prophecy about the war

9. Tell him Harry hates him for sending him to his death, and that he'll never forgive him

10. Always interrupt him

11. Cough a 'hem-hem' loudly in his welcome back to Hogwarts speech

12. Put up Educational Decree notices all around Hogwarts

13. Start up your own Inquisitorial Squad

14. Steal Fawkes

15. Tell him Voldemort has just killed Harry

16. Tell Fudge all about DA

17. Say he'll make an excellent Slytherin

18. Nick all of his Lemon Drops

19. Change his password to 'I hate sweats'

20. Replace his headmastership with Fred and George

21. Ask if he's romantically involved with McGonagall

22. If not ask "why, do you like Snape better?"

23. Ask Dumbledore if he's Jesus

24. Talk to him about the Deathly Hallows

25. Don't give him any socks at Christmas

26. Cut his hair and beard

27. Give him a copy of 'The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore'

28. Tell him its his fault Voldemort went bad, that if he gave him another chance, maybe gave him that job, Tom wouldn't have turned out so bad

29. Burn all of his socks

30. Tell him that he's not as wise as he thinks, if fact you could get Harry kissing the ground you walk on, and he'd be stuck sucking on his lemon drops getting bad teeth

Huh, don't really think this one was that good, Dumblydor is a hard man to poke fun at…

Next time: Umbridge! As requested by Rosalina


	3. Umbridge

30 Ways To Annoy

Umbridge

1. Always refer to her as toad, to her and other people

2. Stick her with a herd of Centaur

3. Have a were-wolf bite her

4. Propose to Fudge in front of her

5. Take away her job title

6. Lock her in a room with Fred and George

7. Ask her why she's always kissing the Ministers arse

8. Make a point of regularly telling her how wonderful Harry Potter is

9. Charm fairys to fly around her head signing sweet songs about how much they love half breeds

10. Smash up her kitten plates and replace them with frogs and pigs

11. Make her write 'I shall not be an ugly fat toad' with her 'special' quill

12. Every time she asks you a question croak at her

13. At lunch give her a fly sandwich

14. Turn her office floor into a swamp

15. Have her share an office with Dumbledore, and living quarters with Hagrid

16. Send Dementors after her

17. Tell her Voldemort and his Death Eaters send her hugs, puppies and Unforgivables

18. Turn her into a frog or toad and give her to Neville as a new pet

19. Use her for target practise in DA, after all, she can't be that hard to miss, well, so long as you don't aim high…

20. Shout at her for defying the Ministry in the worst possible way in front of Fudge

21. Use the Imperious curse on her and make her declare her love for Harry Potter to the world

22. Hiss at her in Parseltongue

23. Put up an Educational Degree stating that all dunderhead Ministry employees are here by banned from teaching at Hogwarts

24. Ask if her fathers name is Satan

25. For Christmas give her pest spray

26. Tell her Voldemort is live and kicking and he's gonna take over the world and she'll be his little … er, _big_ puppet

27. Remind her constantly that Fudge lost his job. Maybe she's next?

28. Make her kiss the hem of Harry and Dumbledore's robes

29. Tell everyone that she's really a man

30. Put a lightning shaped scare on her forehead

Next time: Lucius! As requested by srsblck

Sorry for the delay in getting more up, I've been really busy lately. Just a note, I will get all requests up, however they may not be in the order I get them as I've already got some half done, and some just started, some I need to start, so its really just which ever is complete first.


	4. Harry

_Notes: 1) Wow, been along time since I've done any of these! 2) Ok, I know I said_ _Lucius, sorry, but I'll get right to that._

30 Ways to Annoy…

Harry

1. Send Dementors after him

2. Tell him Voldemort was asking after him

3. Tell him he would have been better in Slytherin

4. Say his parents would be ashamed of him

5. Every time you see him tell him how long it's been since his parents died, e.g. you're walking by, see him and say "15 years, 5 months, 8 days and 24 seconds since your parents snuffed it."

6. Don't tell him any information, and when he starts screaming like he's having a _very bad_ case of PMS, refer him for some psychiatric help, and comment how his friends should be rewarded for having to put up with him

7. Fall out with him when he becomes a Tri Wizard Champion

8. Tell him Draco Malfoy is a much better Seeker

9. Ask him if his mum had a love affair with Snape, broke it off, and that's why Snape doesn't like him

10. Get Cho to go on about how wonderful and brave and handsome Cedric was around him

11. Stare at his scare

12. Ask "Are youreally _Harry Potter?!_"

13. Tell him the Dursley's are wonderful people who need a medal for putting up with his 'freakishness'

14. Hand him a tank of frogs or toads and say the Dementors send there apologies for almost kissing him and his cousin

15. Have Umbridge back teaching

16. Have Umbridge and Snape as Harry's legal guardian's

17. Shove him in a locked room with a Bogart with no wand

18. Snap his wand

19. Burst out into uncontrollable laughter every time you see him for no reason

20. Send him a corny valentines

21. Always call him Undesirable Number One and/or Heir to Slytherin when speaking with him, never Harry or any other name (scare face is excepted)

22. Tell him he's so crap at magic he may as well be a squib

23. Tell him its his fault everyone died, Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, Fred, etc, and if he had been a real man he would have went to Voldemort immediately and prevented un-called for deaths

24. Date Ginny

25. Make up rumours about him

26. Talk to him in a baby voice, just like that lovely women Bellatrix

27. Every time he speaks, yawn loudly and call him an attention seeking, delusional liar

28. Tell him Dumbledore is just using him as a weapon

29. Give him Tom Riddle's diary

30. Become a crazy Dark Lord, kill everyone he loves, then blame it on the Teletubbies

--

_Haha, an old friend of mine was scared of the Teletubbies when she was little. She thought that their stomach's had been ripped open and someone shoved a TV in there. But I never was, it was that freaky show Sesame Street that was scary! Seriously, that shit was creepy! Especially that giant yellow bird._


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